1. FIND her heart:
Invest time in the woman you’re interested in. Discover her passion,what makes her angry or sad and what makes her tick. This is easier to do when you don’t judge or criticize every little fault. There are no perfect women; over-criticism and impossibly high standards will push her away or turn her to a hypocrite and you won’t know the real person. Know what she loves, her values, her dreams, and her purpose. If you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to know if you’re going in the same direction. (It’s stupid to propose to a woman who wants to travel the world in a jet and you want to be a missionary in a remote village). Yes, she will change some things for you, but it’s always easier if you know the kind of life she really wants to live and if you can provide it. If you want her to say yes, your goal is to find your way into her heart (not her bed) and plant yourself there.
Invest time in the woman you’re interested in. Discover her passion,what makes her angry or sad and what makes her tick. This is easier to do when you don’t judge or criticize every little fault. There are no perfect women; over-criticism and impossibly high standards will push her away or turn her to a hypocrite and you won’t know the real person. Know what she loves, her values, her dreams, and her purpose. If you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to know if you’re going in the same direction. (It’s stupid to propose to a woman who wants to travel the world in a jet and you want to be a missionary in a remote village). Yes, she will change some things for you, but it’s always easier if you know the kind of life she really wants to live and if you can provide it. If you want her to say yes, your goal is to find your way into her heart (not her bed) and plant yourself there.
Stop talking about why she should be with
you and show her why (without closing your bank account). Listen to her
more, read between the lines of what she says. When hubby and I were
dating, he came to visit me and I was talking about a conference in my
church at the time and how ‘we’ as ushers were going to print t-shirts
with the word “USHER” written at the back. I began to joke about how I’d
love to get a t-shirt with my name on the collar and ‘Nigeria’ at
the back. I forgot about our little conversation, but months later my
birthday came and I got two t-shirts; both had my name at the back and
one had ‘TOMI NIGERIA’ on the collar. He was actually listening! That
was my best birthday present ever. I wore that shirt for years till the
writing was completely faded and the t-shirt had holes I couldn’t patch
together. Listen to her heart, and when you speak, she won’t be able to
say no!
2. Find Yourself:
There are many lover boys who
have no problem finding the heart of the woman they love, but they
haven’t yet discovered themselves. You won’t find a real woman simply
because you have a few romantic lyrics- and a sketchy idea of who you
are. Real women are drawn to purpose and a strong sense of identity,
which is why wealthy men, powerful men and rebels a.k.a bad boys seem to
be getting more attention.You don’t need to change who you are or
pretend; you are an awesome ‘bro’ with a unique personality and a great
purpose. Give the woman you love the chance to know your heart. Be
confident enough to let the real you shine through. Deal with your
personal issues first, find your purpose and passion, get your life in
order (find a job or start your business) and the woman will pay
attention.
by Tomi Sule
No comments:
Post a Comment